The Potty Gardener

  • Seed potatoes and Spring cleaning

    Haxnicks Potty Gardener

    The Potty Gardener

    There are some peculiar brown, wrinkly things lurking on my kitchen windowsill. They may be small and silent but rather alarmingly they seem to be growing poisonous eyes on stalks! Grandpa Haxnicks assures me that they can’t see me (I have my doubts), but I am relieved to know that in a few weeks I can safely bury them out of sight. If they continue to grow and possibly reproduce I am told that it is quite reasonable at some stage to dig them up, boil them alive and eat them (shhh maybe they have ears too).

    Haxnicks Tips on Seed Pots

    These chitting seed potatoes, sporting the racy names of ‘Swift’, ‘Rocket’, and ‘Red duke of York’ promise to give a good summer crop and I’m told are ideal for growing in planters. Who gets to choose potato names I wonder, because if these little chitters don’t live up to their names I shall be offering to rename them (shhh maybe they have ears too)? If my potty ramblings haven’t satisfied your curiosity about growing potatoes in planters then have a look at Haxnicks Potato Planters

    Haxnicks Patio Planters

    Anyway, as well as keeping a careful eye on those potato eyes I have gathered some pots, planters and grow bags ready to create my self-contained garden. Grandpa Haxnicks has kindly delivered some goodies and I have scrubbed up some old pots. I have also cleaned up and cleaned out the greenhouse and green it was, every pane coated in verdant mould, so I scrubbed the glass with a vinegar solution which apparently made me smell like an old gherkin. Lovely!

    The next stage in my plan is carrots, Amsterdam Forcing Carrots to be precise. I also wonder who names the carrots? They sound even more imposing than the potatoes, why not something gentler like Nether Wallop Nudging or Trumpton Tender? Any more suggestions…..?

  • Growing without the Garden

    Grandpa Haxnicks would like to introduce you to The Potty Gardener talking to anyone who will listen, mostly herself....

    Haxnicks Potty Gardener

    Hello from The Potty Gardener!

    There is definitely an air of spring on its way this morning. No sign of a frost, some chirpy birdsong and a glimpse of sunshine. Of course, it won’t last but it is fuelling enthusiasm for my new project.

    The kitchen table is strewn with gardening magazines awash with smiley, rosy cheeked experts inviting me to join in their plant-based passions. 'Sow', 'Create', 'Transform', 'Cultivate', 'Titivate', 'Rotavate', 'Motivate'!  Further fuelling of enthusiasm for my new project.

    Vigoroot Pots Full Of Life from Haxnicks

    So what is my new project, I hear you ask (or is that just the voices in my head?)? Well I'm quite happy talking to myself…potty, completely potty….and that is my new project. The potty garden. This year I am going to grow everything in pots, planters and bags. Why (voices in my head again)? Not because I am potty, but because I am living in a rented property where every inch of growing space is a knotted nightmare of ground elder roots. It invades the dry stone walls, penetrates the weed matting and is resistant to roundup. But it is possible to be motivated to sow, create, cultivate, titivate (maybe not rotavate) without the garden.

    I am making a plan that starts with potatoes in planters, but that ultimately helps me to get growing and glowing like they do in the magazines. I want my pink cheeks to match the flowers in my garden like Carol Klein, to use my hands as spades like Monty Don and develop an organic grin as satisfied as Bob Flowerdew, so watch this space!

2 Item(s)